“….Where Art Thou Tiger?”

Ever since the seemingly minor accident on Nov 27, 2009 in Florida that involved Tiger Woods (his wife’s presence at the scene was initially thought to have been to help him but rather she was there to knock him senseless with a 3-wood) he has not been seen since. What transpired at the accident scene was mired with murky circumstances without anyone the wiser on what really happened, even now.

Eldrick Tont Woods better known as Tiger had come off clean from day one.There was no attempt on his part to deny nor to spin stories. He could not have as there were his conquests 14 of them (now 15). They were ever ready for a 'tell all',telling bedtime stories, of their times with Tiger, to whomsoever - for a fee (even complete with voice mail messages)

Tiger could not therefore talk otherwise except for the only recourse he took with his statements on his web-site, where he apologized and explained - but nowhere was he to be seen. It was rumoured he was heading to the Bahamas in his luxury yacht but the yacht had not moved. It was still at its moorings at the pier.

When he played at the Mines Golf Resort at Sungai Besi way back in 1999 he could command an ‘appearance money’ of RM1 mil (USD?)just to be present and only just to play (winnings were extra) With his absence he has now given a whole new meaning to such a thing as ‘disappearance money’. Even when he 'disappeared' he could still be valuable. However, it was not for himself but for those tracking him. It was reported that a paparazzi snapshot of him now is worth USD300k. Whether you see him on the fairways or you don't he can still command big money. Such is the man.

The world’s wealthiest athlete estimated to earn about US$100 million a year in endorsement deals before his troubles were known, is just as priceless, whether he is seen around or otherwise. We are going to feel the void in 2010 though, as he is to lay off golf for the time being.

So golf forthwith will not be described as, a ‘game where 30 white men with clubs in their hands aggressively chasing a black man, and still not able to inflict any harm to the black man’. Now it will be just some ‘white guys chasing each other around the links and the familiar 'maroon-shirted champ’ on the final day is to be sadly missed.

However much the golf pundits insist that it will not affect the game, it is a foregone conclusion that it will. Golf ratings would definitely plummet down tremendously.

In fact in a report today,(according to a study by two economics professors from the University of California, Davis) the sex scandal may have cost shareholders of companies endorsed by Tiger up to a cool US$12 billion (RM41.2b) in losses.

Tiger in the meantime continued to be the butt of jokes from various quarters. The latest had him as a walking sex machine, generously endowed with a penchant for Latinos. He does not need Viagra but brought out the ‘Tiagra’ in him instead.

Actually the journos are the ones having a field day with a vengeance. They could not do it before on a squeaky clean guy, a goody-two-shoes with an unblemished record both on and off the fairways. Now they can.

Tiger would have to take it. When you are down, you are down. You are not to be heard nor to be seen just yet. Take a leaf from what both Bill Clinton and David Beckham had gone through. It was bad when it lasted but now both are respectable gentlemen and walking tall.

There’s a caveat though. While the spouses of both Clinton and Beckham stood by their men, Tigers’s wife Erin Nordegren talked of ‘separate holidays, separate living (she had already chosen a house to go back to in Sweden) and separation’.

It seemed there was a nuptial agreement so there may be a cap to the extent of compensation and Tiger is not facing the prospects of a bottomless pit in alimony payments. It is not 'much' just USD1bil. Erin likewise would have to think real hard, that a bird in hand is worth 2 in the bush so why make a big thing out of it.He's on the defensive, just stay cool and make sure he does not stray too much.

Hopefully both could have the resolve to pick up the pieces and start anew especially with 2 beautiful kids to get them going.

Déjà vu – Idol Outcome in Malam Sehati Berdansa

It just did not seem right, it’s just not fair. The favourite just missed out in not being crowned the winner. Yes, many were of the opinion the outcome did not reflect the real consensus. Even the reviews by the many journos before the final had analysed and expected a different outcome.

Yes, I’m talking of Adam Lambert or Adam Lembut, destined for fame as the American Idol winner last season 8, but not quite.It was déjà vu last Saturday night Dec 26,2009, reminiscent of the Idol final night.

Kris Allen, the underdog, the American Idol of season 8, was surprised, much to being embarrassed. When the results were announced, he had to pull Adam nearer to his side as though wanting to share the limelight which he subconsciously thought was undeserving to accept.

Last Saturday night OP Nazril and Sazzy relived the episode of the Idol final night. Being favourites it was difficult for the live audience to comprehend. They were rooting for their favourite pair. The shouts were loudest for them. However, OP Nazril and Sazzy lost out to the eventual winner, Sein and Nana.

While not wanting to take the credit off from the commendable efforts of Sein and Nana, it was not their fault in any case, they came, they performed and they won.
However the trend was very apparent even before that. Sein and Nana received very high SMS counts in weeks leading to the final.

While OP Nazril and Sazzy were tops on the dance floor ( the jury gave them a 100 perfect score on 3 occasions, remember?) they were trailing on the SMS count. So since the final night was based entirely on a 100% SMS count, they were done for.
There was no way they could have won. There seemed to be ‘unseen hands’ pushing for higher SMS counts against them. The less said the better.

If all others remain equal, cēterīs paribus, OP Nazril and Sazzy to me and to many others were the winners hands down.

Adam Lambert now dubbed Adam ‘Glambert‘ being the glamour guy that he is, even though runner-up, is seen, heard and had chalked up better success than the American Idol winner in their post-final days.

OP Nazril and Sazzy, if you are good, you are good, never mind what the SMS had determined. Enjoy your second honeymoon in Australia! That being part of the prizes that you had richly deserved.

The Duress Test

Jordie was beaming from ear to ear. It was not difficult to see why. He didn’t have any worry to show, not since we left Kuala Pilah. It was just before 8.00 pm.on June 17, 2008. We were on our way back to Kuala Lumpur.We had stopped at the Seremban Highway Rest Area for a ‘cuppa’. Hanafi who had just then done his Maghrib prayers joined us and ordered refreshments.

“We’re all set,” Jordie said. Both Hanafi and I nodded in unison. “now we have to decide on a schedule to progress further.” We again nodded.

We had left Kuala Lumpur earlier in the day, sometime around 4.00 pm “We should reach Kuala Pilah by 5.30 pm or thereabouts.” Jordie said.”. That should be ideal..Rightly so because from readings on the internet, the birds would apparently come to roost back to their nests at around that time. “there’s no need to speed, as we are way ahead of the evening rush hour”, Jordie reminded Hanafi who was driving.

Only 2 days before, Jordie had acquired the CD. He said he had not heard it before and he would like to test it on site. That was the sole purpose of our journey south to Kuala Pilah, to test the CD and to see how effective it would be.

We arrived on the dot. We parked by the roadside. Jordie assured us that we need not go into the land area which was a further 200 metres inside.Hanafi went about setting up the

contraption. It comprised speakers to be plugged into the cigarette lighter of the car thus doing away with any need for batteries. It was actually a recording of swiftlets’ young under duress.

When we played the CD the sudden cracklings and shriekings were a bit of a bother. It was the sound of panic. Similar sounds would invoke a response from adult birds in the sky to naturally answer the distress call to protect their young.

Hanafi placed the item on the car roof, pointed the speakers skywards, plugged it in and ‘hey presto’. The cracklings and shriekings filled the air. It barely took 5 seconds before the sky above was swarming with birds. Initially they were gliding around on a higher level until a few began to swoop in and got closer to us apparently to check around. After a frenzy of flying, gliding and diving for about 10 minutes the birds got back to the higher level and eventually flew off after realising they had been fooled.

Only then we realised and became aware again of the bothersome cracklings and shriekings. Barely a few minutes before it was plainly music to the ear when the birds were hovering above us.

We stayed on for a while to savour the satisfaction of the success of our test and the peace and tranquillity of the countryside at dusk. Jordie smiled, smacked his lips and declared triumphantly that “your land is ideal for a birdhouse!”

We proceeded back to Kuala Lumpur.It was a leisurely drive knowing fully well that there’s a lot to be done and this was only the beginning!

What’s in a Name?

Allahyarham Sudirman and Kay on their Wedding Day

“A rose by any other name smells just as sweet,” so a sage quipped a long time ago. So what’s in a name?

But Hank is ok, I thought. Isn’t it ok? Friends back at my College (at the RMC) called me Hank, they still do even today, after so many years! “What’s wrong with Hank?” I asked my wife, Shadah more of trying to reassure myself rather than expecting an answer.

It’s fashionable to have a special name in blogosphere my wife reasoned. It should be an acceptable nickname she cautioned.

“Shore!”, I retorted sounding very American. “Well, there’s Hank Williams, there’s Hank Marvin I said, bringing back memories of rock & roll greats of yesteryears. What’s wrong with Hank?”

“Nothing , but can’t you be more original?”

“ ‘k”, I said, barely audible, agreeing with her. (my youngest son Azhar will text me ‘k’ to signify ok when he agrees. That’s the language of young people these days, somewhat shortened and may even be confusing at times)

Yes, that’s it! It struck me suddenly, Kay, why not? That’s a nice sounding name,.. Kay….

“…but Kay is feminine, remember late Sudirman’s ex-wife?”... my wife reminded me.

“Yes, I know that… so also Kay Kendall, the ex-wife of the late Rex Harrison” ( both Hollywood screenstars of old ) I unwittingly added.

“That’s not what prompted me”, I confessed (…I felt cornered).

“So what prompted you?”, she asked.

“I was thinking of ‘kay’ in ‘kaya’ meaning ‘rich’ that’s what all birdhouse owners aspire to be”, I replied sheepishly.

“Ok, fair enough, fair enough and I will willingly and certainly pray for your success. I will certainly ‘doa’ for you to be rich”. she said. She agrees and I felt relieved.

“But a nickname must be unique”, my wife quickly added again…

“I will add ‘kuala’ to it, that’s where I was born, Kuala Pilah, that should make it unique”, I said.

“I was born in Titi Gajah” she countered in an instance. Yes, Titi Gajah!

It left me wondering her motive for saying so. There was a sudden silence..... each waiting for the other for the next move.

I remember very distinctly earlier on in our marriage of being constantly reminded of Titi Gajah. The marriage was blissful, loving and supportive and still is, for which I am ever so grateful to Allah, God the Almighty, and to my loving wife most definitely. Ever so sweetly…honey!.

But I was constantly reminded of her pride in sharing her birth place, Titi Gajah in Kedah, with someone well known - Tun Dr Mahathir. Before she could remind me again, I said,

“…but Che Det chose the nom de plume of his Singapore student days for his blog…”. there’s no ‘Titi’ or anything like that in his name. I know he was born there. I should think he is proud of Titi Gajah, also” I was trying hard to appease her wounded pride, for not adopting Titi or Gajah as part of my nickname.

She somewhat remained silent. Phew! It was close. She didn’t flog the issue, I was relieved again.
I could have ended with ‘kaygajah’ as a nickname (or even 'kaytiti' which somewhat sounds odd) She didn’t insist, not this time.'Kaygajah' sounds monstrous and unwieldy. Maybe that’s why.

The nickname ‘kaykuala’ on the other hand sounds forgiving, free flowing (kuala means estuary of a river) elegant and with a mysterious serenity around it. So I think!

Yes, kaykuala it is… feminine? Well, ok, afterall feminity sells as we often see in advertisements. It bodes well for the business.

In this instance, it depicts the constant flow of an estuary, it has also part of ‘kaya’ (I just can’t help but repeat it) richness and riches as a consequence which is good and finally it has my roots in it, 'kuala' all bonded into one…yes, yes.., a Tiger Woods punch in the air…., yes , kaykuala it is!